Women’s Month: The wise woman who moulded a selfless man

“Everyone needs someone who believes in them completely. My grandmother was that person for me. She believed in me completely, without holding back, and she helped me to think like a mature person early on in my life,” said Professor Mosa Moshabela, Vice-Chancellor of the University of Cape Town (UCT).

What was extra special, Professor Moshabela said, Elizabeth Ramadimetja Madisha (Koko-Mma as the grandchildren called her), did not attend school, yet she believed in the power of education. She was not privileged to travel and explore the country and other parts of the world, yet she encouraged him to go out there and pursue a career that would take him places.

She inspired him into studying medicine, and he did. She was his biggest cheerleader. In 1996, as Moshabela was writing his final exam as a first-year medical student, Koko-Mma crossed over. Though physically no longer here, she has remained Moshabela’s guiding light, his voice of reason. And today, the values she instilled in him influence and guide every decision he makes. It’s safe to say that Koko-Mma is never far away.

Developing a value system

Moshabela grew up in Mapatjakeng village in Zebediela, Limpopo Province. He was in Grade 4 when he moved back there from his parents’ house in Modjadjiskloof (formerly Duiwelskloof). He loved life in the village – spending time in the forest, climbing trees and playing soccer in the fields.

Best believe he also had his chores. Despite her paralysis following a severe stroke, which left her bedridden, Koko-Mma taught him how to herd the goats, sheep and cattle. She also schooled him on how to milk the cows. She nurtured his can-do spirt and served as a constant motivation that nothing is impossible.

“She was not mobile, she could not walk, yet she believed in the beauty of the world.”

“She was not mobile, she could not walk, yet she believed in the beauty of the world. Every time I came home from school, she was willing to listen to my stories. And would always ask: ‘what else happened?’,” he said.

“She told stories I felt were meant for adults. But they helped to teach me so much and gave me so much wisdom about the world and how to navigate it. During that stage of my life, I developed my value system.”

Learning the value of respect

As a young boy, Koko-Mma taught him to show and value respect, to embody kindness and to treat those he encountered with dignity. Despite their massive age gap, she treated him like her equal, which is probably why today Moshabela chooses not to believe in hierarchies of any kind.

“That’s why, when I look at young people, I look at them as people. They may not be the size and the stature of an adult. But I don’t necessarily believe that your number of years in life determine your humanity and dignity. Dignity is a given. It’s not something that one has to fight for or earn,” he said.

“The moment I understood that, I could not let it go. Whenever I encountered people who did not treat me with dignity and respect, I did not welcome that. I value respect because of the foundation that’s been set for me. And that’s why foundations are really important.”

Living the values of ubuntu

As a woman who embodied generosity of spirit, Koko-Mma ensured that Moshabela understood the meaning of selflessness. And thanks to these teachings, he also learned the true meaning of a win-win situation and how generosity of spirt influences it. Typically, he explained, when there’s a winner there’s also always a loser. But this doesn’t apply in a win-win situation. Why? Because win-win situations are underpinned by generosity of spirt.

“Generosity of spirit means you help someone win, and while you do that, you win in the process. It’s quite selfless and I like that foundation. I hope that in leadership [at UCT] we can continue to transmit that, teach and demonstrate that to other people,” he said.

In fact, he added, generosity of spirt also symbolises the values of ubuntu that South Africans speak so fondly of, which, in hindsight, is what Koko-Mma stood for.

“In South Africa we talk a lot about ubuntu. Yet, it’s still hard for us to live the values of ubuntu. It’s hard for us to express what ubuntu means in reality and in practice. But if you really unpack it, it’s actually about the generosity one person shows to another. But we can’t seem to go back to that and make it part of our way of life,” he said.

“In our conversations at UCT I hope that we can go back to talking about what that means and learn how to do that everyday in the ways we relate to each other.”

Life lesson

As he prepared to wrap up the interview, Moshabela noted that one of the biggest life lessons he learned from Koko-Mma is the importance of people, community and building lasting relationships.

“That’s why I love people and listening to their stories because people are not defined by who they are and what they’ve [achieved] in life.”

“That’s why I love people and listening to their stories because people are not defined by who they are and what they’ve [achieved] in life. They are also defined by the experiences [that accompany] the stories they tell,” he said. “And you have to learn this [lesson] from someone you trust. My grandmother did that for me.”

So, for her profound impact and her gravitas, Moshabela continues to feel accountable to Koko-Mma, because he knows she is always right there beside him.